Story Game (English version)

Well done, Sibylle! It's a very cool story!
I especially like the pursuit: across the perfect grass, through the perfect forest and on the perfect beach...all very cool!

I've underlined a few small corrections (mostly just punctuation).

Sibylle a écrit:

hat - bird - cook - brain - grass

Once upon a time, there was a princess who lived in the castle owned by her father, the King of Enyaland. Unfortunately for her, she kept one of the most awful secrets on earth: she was a vampire. Therefore, in summer, she had to protect herself with a hat so that she could go outside without arousing any suspicion. (Indeed, a girl who doesn't go out in summer is not common.) However, in order to not leave several human bodies lying everywhere around the castle, she took animals' blood, and that of birds was her favorite. After sucking their blood, she usually cooked them in order to get rid of any proof of what she had done. She didn't like cooking them but she was compelled to, even if the idea that they could feel what she did to them, as they also had a brain and were sensitive to pain, was too horrible to bear.
Still, one day, the princess forgot to cook the bird and her father discovered its body in the kitchen and with it, the truth. He pursued his daughter, crossing the perfect grass of the castle, the perfect forest around the castle and the perfect beach around the castle. Too afraid about what her father would do to her, the princess asked the devil to let her die -- again. The day after, the king discovered the body of her daughter and promised to take revenge on the one who had bitten her.

An additional note on this part:
the princess asked the devil to let her die -- again.
The two hyphens represent a single tiret, although it's typically only in professional publishing that the tiret is utilized. (If you were typing a manuscript to send to an editor, you would use two hyphens to indicate where you want a tiret placed.)
For informal use, a single hyphen is sufficient:
the princess asked the devil to let her die - again.

MgX a écrit:

Oh, I love this smilie!

aaron a écrit:

However, in order to not leave several human bodies lying everywhere around the castle, she took animals' blood, and that of birds was her favorite.

C'est marrant Aaron, pour certains trucs on voit vraiment que tu es Américain et pas Anglais! lol

Et merci pour toutes ces précisions typographiques!
:heart:

J'ai toujours appris " in order not to ", je verrai avec ma prof mardi

Merci Aaron, j'ai édité pour que ce soit plus propre

Val a écrit:

aaron a écrit:

However, in order to not leave several human bodies lying everywhere around the castle, she took animals' blood, and that of birds was her favorite.

C'est marrant Aaron, pour certains trucs on voit vraiment que tu es Américain et pas Anglais! lol

Et merci pour toutes ces précisions typographiques!
:heart:

lol, well a portion of that may be due to my professional experience, presenting writing for publication. How one speaks and how one writes generally have differences.

Thus:

Sibylle a écrit:

J'ai toujours appris " in order not to ", je verrai avec ma prof mardi

Merci Aaron, j'ai édité pour que ce soit plus propre

To use "in order not to" can also be correct. It depends on the sentence, and how it is being used. In this case, definitely you want the word "leave," but it could go either way, then:
in order not to leave
in order to not leave

They would both be understood.

Val a écrit:

Faut pas le dire, mais les Américains parlent pas très bien anglais...

lol, but of course not! We speak American!

aaron a écrit:

Val a écrit:

Faut pas le dire, mais les Américains parlent pas très bien anglais...

lol, but of course not! We speak American!

il s'en sort bien

aaron a écrit:

Val a écrit:

Faut pas le dire, mais les Américains parlent pas très bien anglais...

lol, but of course not! We speak American!

On est d'accord, ça n'a rien à voir avec de l'anglais...

Val a écrit:

Sibylle a écrit:

hat - bird - cook - brain - grass

Once upon a time a princess who lived in the castle owned by her father, the King of Enyaland. Unfortunately for her, she kept one of the most awful secrets on earth : she was a vampire. Therefore, in summer, she had to protect herself with a hat so that she could go outside without arousing any suspicion (indeed, a girl who doesn't go out in summer is not common). However, in order not to let several human bodies lying everywhere around the castle, she took animals' blood, and birds' one was her favourite : after taking (or sucking) their blood, she usually cooked them to get rid of any proof of her difference : she didn't like cooking them but she was compelled to, even if the idea that they could feel what she did to them, as they also had a brain and were sensitive to pain, was too horrible to bear.
Still, one day, the princess forgot to cook the bird and her father discovered its body in the kitchen and with it, the truth. He pursued his daughter, crossing the perfect grass of the castle, the perfect forest around the castle and the perfect beach around the castle. Too afraid about what her father would do to her, the princess asked the devil to let her die -again-. The day after, the king discovered the body of her daughter and promised to take revenge on the one who once bite her.

Sinon, l'histoire est vraiment géniale! Quelle imagination!!

Pas mal du tout !

Val a écrit:

aaron a écrit:

Val a écrit:

Faut pas le dire, mais les Américains parlent pas très bien anglais...

lol, but of course not! We speak American!

On est d'accord, ça n'a rien à voir avec de l'anglais...

On m'aurait menti alors ?

abgone a écrit:

Val a écrit:

aaron a écrit:

Val a écrit:

Faut pas le dire, mais les Américains parlent pas très bien anglais...

lol, but of course not! We speak American!

On est d'accord, ça n'a rien à voir avec de l'anglais...

On m'aurait menti alors ?

Sibylle, vraiment géniale ton histoire !!!! Surtout que mes mots étaient vraiment tordus !!! :018:

C'est gentil, merci

Super histoire Sybille!!!